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How To Be Consistent With Cold Outreach

So i've made so i've made a few videos before specifically on how to actually do the work and how to fall in love with the pain and how to actually get things done because if you're trying to grow a business and you're trying to make money then really like making money is just an effect and the cause is the work and if you can't do the work and you're not motivated to do the work then well you're not going to make any money so today's video is just going to give you some strategies or mainly like a frame of reference to actually understand how to do the work because i have the problem now where like i kind of do too much work i can't seem to get away from my laptop and you know i'm in this position where like i really love what i do and like because of that i don't have any issue sitting down and doing the work if anything i have an issue getting away from it sometimes i'l work too hard and i'l burn myself out and i kind of do that quite often because i really enjoy it. But i'm working on that. But today i've realized that most people have like the opposite problem to this which is basically not enough drive not enough motivation to do the work this manifests in different ways usually like procrastination or being lazy or deluding yourself to doing something else like the work is like the thing that you know you need to do but for whatever reason feel resistance towards doing so for example like if you are procrastinating on something or if you know you should be doing outreach instead you're building a website or if you know you should be doing outreach. But instead you think you're gonna go to the gym instead because you'l feel better after the gym and then like anything that is not the thing that you should be doing at least in the work context is like a waste basically.

And i've realized this and i've been able to control this. So how do we actually do the work and most importantly how do we fall in love with the pain of doing the work because what you've got to realize is that there's actions in your life that you can take to accomplish results that exceed your current reality there's causes that you can put into motion to create effects that you want to accomplish that's basically just the whole idea of setting a goal and going after it actions like naturally bring resistance with them so resistance is basically a feeling in your body that you get that basically is you that your body will try and resist the actions it will try and resist you making the change because it likes being a constant right and so when you go to do something whether it's outreach or sales calls or something to do with the growing of the business and you'l know what it is because you'l be resisting it there will be resistance now with resistance you have two options right there really is just two options there's no third you can either face the resistance or you can not face the resistance. Right the first one is the best one because you basically just meet resistance with effort and that's basically work right and work creates pain because pain is a byproduct of resistance times effort but pain is also a byproduct of resistance times compliance times by time so you've got two equations that you can run your whole life through basically you can have resistance plus effort to equal pain or you can have resistance plus compliance plus time to equal pain what that means is that you do the hard work now. And you feel the pain now. Or you don't do the hard work now. And you feel the pain later. So either way you're going to feel pain and i can tell you that like most of the time like what you're afraid of working for or towards or like whatever pain you're worried about doesn't really hurt too much at all if anything actually feels pretty good.

Pretty nice. Um so what you've got to realize is that the human body and the human mind and the brain works off of familiarity and what we enjoy and what we like is dependent upon how many times we've been exposed to it at a base level now it's obviously more complicated neurologically biologically than that but at a sort of first principle we can deduce the familiarity produces what we like. Right. So like you know if you for example are always listening to the same musician then you will like that musician or if you always eat the same food then you'd like that food and it's a feedback loop. Right so you might think well. No the reason that i always listen to the same musician is because i like that musician but the reason that you like them in the first place is because you always listen to them and now you like them of course you like them because you keep listening to them the brain's main only way of really doing anything and understanding anything at least what it likes and what the body likes is through familiarity.

Um so this is why we need to leverage familiarity to love work you cannot love your work overnight there's no maybe there is to be honest there are some paradigm shifts you can have to sort of like you know flip your perspective of work to make it much more exciting and much more enjoyable but you've got to realize that if you want to fall in love with the grind or if you want to like really eventually learn to like really love what you do and tolerate the pain that comes from meeting the resistance with the effort the best weapon you have is familiarity but familiarity is just built over time. Right. So it kind of takes like one or two years of consistency to actually start to enjoy the experience of the work the primary example of this is stockholm syndrome which is basically a psychological phenomenon that's backfield psychologist for years but it makes sense in this context where you can like there's studies that show like people who have been kidnapped like for years all the only content the only human concert they have for years is like their kidnapper. Right and then they get rescued from their kidnapper they offer ransom or whatever and after a few months of being home with their families they want to go back to their kidnapper because they fall and a lot of the time people who have been kidnapped fall in love with those who have kidnapped them if they've been exposed to them enough and they've fallen like that's how it works and this is this strategy is used by there's all sorts of stories you can find it in like chinese military practices as well i'm not an expert on that. But i read some stories before around like when they take prisoners they weren't necessarily like i didn't know how this was obviously like years ago i don't know what they did at the moment but what they would do is they take the prisoners of war and they wouldn't necessarily treat them awfully they just treat them like friends and the prisoner would be exposed to a military person over and over and over again until eventually that they sort of became friends and like if you're wondering like why you are friends with who you're friends with or why you love who you love kind of is just a familiarity thing love is built through consistent exposure to something it's kind of why like you might be terrified to do your first skydive.

But after 20 skydives you love it right like terror and fear and pain and agony and suffering or perception of negative emotion insert it here that can manifest into love and you can take like it's also why like a lot of people like it's like familiarity is like a defense mechanism because your body will adapt so if you if you're putting your body through some pain and like by doing work if you're putting yourself itself through that mental pain of like sitting down and doing the work and focusing and facing the resistance then naturally what will happen over time is your body and mind will adapt to tolerate that pain because the body doesn't like to be in pain and so if you sit in enough pain for long enough eventually you won't feel it. Anymore it's kind of like the gym. Right it's a try example. But it works where if you work out and you increase how much weight you're lifting your body will adapt to not feel as much pain when you do that lift right. That's kind of like how it works it's basically like the gym. Right it's like you go in. And you start lifting more than you should or could right at the moment or you start running longer than you thought you could.

And it's through doing that you feel horrible pain now. But if you do that for long enough eventually the pain will have subsided because the body will have adapted to the pain and this is exactly what happens in work as well and so if you want to learn how to get what you want obviously the key is through work right all businesses are built through just insane work don't think that you can go sit on a beach and have a 10 grand a month business and feel happy i've tried it doesn't make me happy it might make you happy that's just in my experience but like the problem is that to build a company that runs itself that allows you to have the lifestyle that you think you want requires you to become someone that can work like a machine when you become that person and you work like a machine and then you think. Okay. Now i'm going to go and take that time off and go and sit on the beach and have this business run itself you won't be happy because you're so familiar with work and not like aimless relaxing that you'l start aimlessly relaxing and then you'l be itching to get back to work so this happened to me where i started my first agency out of this there's a lot of reasons i started it. But one of them was i wanted this sort of like lifestyle like automated business that goes in the beach. And i did that. And i got to like 10 15 grand a month with a small team. And i didn't really have to do any work maybe like one or two hours a day and like it got to the point where i did some interrailing trips. And like i sort of went around the world and did some traveling and didn't really work much. But i was just so miserable. And i couldn't figure out why i was like finally i've got what i want. But then i realized like though one or two hours a day that i started working was where i was happiest.

And i was like. Oh so this is just that stockholm syndrome thing like you've got to imagine that like obviously it's a up example. But it's kind of like you are that your kidnapper is the work and you are being kidnapped in this early stage of your business right and eventually after that first year you just want to keep going back to the work over and over again and this is what happens now this is how habits form specifically it's how identities form specifically it's how self-image forms and my self-image and my identity and habits are now sort of just rooted in the work. So like today i'l get up and i'l go to the gym i'l meditate. And then i'l start working. And it's kind of it just it's just a habit. But it's deeper than the habit it's because i'm so familiar with those activities and i've done them so much most people would find like a 45 minute intense workout really difficult most people they wouldn't enjoy that most people would also find it insanely impossible to sit down and meditate for 20 minutes without any distractions or any stimulus and like i can do those things it's only because i've done them like thousands of times at this point that now my brain is just so familiar with them that to not do them would create more pain than doing them so if i didn't work i'd feel worse and if i did right. And i don't feel bad when i work. Anymore. I promise you it is entirely possible to create a situation and to create a framework in your mind and a paradigm with space to live in where work is actually enjoyable and it's actually fun because everyone thinks you should have work and play but what have we made work play that's kind of how it works for me i'm not intended and it's the most rewarding and sort of satisfying thing because now i get up and i work. And i want to do it. And i'm working on things that mean something to me. And it's the most enjoyable experience if anything this should we now that i think about this is the goal that i should have set myself is to create a work like situation to create a business that i want to work on so much like every day i'm chasing the work because it means so much to me i'm not trying to like work so that i don't have to work. Anymore. I'm working so that i have i want to keep working even more right. And it's kind of like a paradox because everything you want sits behind work so and work is just meeting resistance with effort on things that you know you need to do um. So i thought i'd recall this video because a lot of people struggle with doing the work and as someone who doesn't struggle with it. Anymore then it might be useful for you to take my perspective and apply it to your own life and give it a year or two and eventually you'l be sitting down at your office thinking. Oh i quite enjoy this. And it's fun and everything that you don't enjoy now you can enjoy right. So recently i've really been like thinking about this because i used to really not enjoy sales calls and i don't do sales calls anymore i've got a team that manages them but it occurred to me i was like. Oh i actually really love sales call now like give me sales calls i want to do them. And it's only because i've done like 2 000 3 000 of them at this point i'm so familiar with them that my brain's built like a positive association with sales calls because like if you give your body and your brain exposure to something over and over and over again it has no choice but to like it that's the truth. And it's a good strategy to deploy it's a good way for you to sort of condition yourself to get what you want to do what you want to do. And that's everything for me. So i hope you enjoyed this video if you found it useful please do subscribe you can basically like the video and comment if you have anything to add if you are an agency owner or a coach and you struggle to get appointments you can click the first link in the description i think you might like what you see there's no course there's a 997 course there's no webinar no free training just a straight video of me talking about how we help people get clients beyond these videos that's everything from me.

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